It doesn’t usually take too long blogging, before mean comments start rolling in. It’s amazing how the internet allows people to showcase their true selves, which for many people is not a very good thing. People speak in comments online in ways that they would (hopefully) never communicate in person.
As a blogger, you learn to have thick skin, and hopefully let it roll right off you, but sometimes it’s hard to know if you should delete a comment or let it stand.
While this is a personal decision for bloggers to figure out on their own sites, it’s always helpful to think it through with other people.
Especially if you are emotional from the comments. Even if you don’t typically let negative comments get you down, if something goes viral that ends up being more controversial than you were intending, it can get to be a lot when you are being insulted all day long.
Before we get in to how I deal with negative or mean comments, some reference…
This week alone, I’ve been called:
- a bad mom (x4)
- an idiot
- a sell out
- essentially been told I’m poisoning my kids
- incompetent parent
These were mainly in response to a post I wrote about children throwing tantrums in the grocery store, though a couple were directed at a post in which I discuss my children partaking of a (pediatrician recommended) beverage that others do not give their children.
Prior to this week on my blog and Facebook page, I’ve been called an F*ing B-word, a c-word, been told that I’m “obviously a serial killer”, been told that I smell bad, and that people feel sorry for my children because I’m such a bad parent.
There’s more but I won’t bore you with what a clearly horrible person I am. *wink*
So where is the line to be drawn? When do you delete and when do you let people have their say, free speech and all that.
Here are my two main rules:
Disagreement stays – People are welcome to comment on my posts and disagree with something I’ve said. I welcome a kind dialogue in which everyone stays respectful of everyone else’s views.
Derogatory comments go – If some one comments on my blog and attacks other people, it will likely be deleted. Even if they agree with me and are attacking people who disagree with the points I’ve voiced in my blog posts. I want my site to be a safe place for all moms to visit so no attacking.
You are building a community on your blog and in your social media accounts. The types of conversations that you foster there will have a huge impact on that community. It’s not just about the one comment, it’s about every reader that will read it and feel safe, or unsafe because of it.
Comments can turn people off of your posts and keep them from engaging in a dialogue with you.
If some one is incapable of being kind, then chances are, no amount of kind words or discussion back to them would be accepted by them or received well. They’ll just continue to fight, argue and waste your time.
Never feel bad about deleting a comment, or even banning a reader. A follower who is attacking you or your readers isn’t a follower you need to have anyway. Keep the negativity out, so you can continue to nurture the community of people on your site, even the ones that disagree with you, but do so in a kind and respectful way!
Do you have rules for when to delete comments on your site?